Why am I here?

A common question that few of us can honestly answer. I’ve asked myself this a bit lately. You see, I have come to an interesting turning point in my life, a desire to be at one with nature . In a flowing harmonious way. Does that make sense?

Let me explain……………………….

I know about the usual mundane tasks (job especially) that our daily life demands. But you/I want to really live a deep, meaningful, exciting life. So I have begun to ask many questions. Questions that I directly ask my higher power, and to me that is (GOD). To you a higher power may mean something else. Perhaps you don’t believe in one at all. It’s your choice and this is not a theology study. That being said, I do.

You know, no burning bush has ever appeared in front of me, Yet! I haven’t witnessed some great miracle (other than my mother miraculously recuperating) for which a different post is in order. Back to that later. I just keep asking for guidance and in a grateful way, having faith that the answer will come. ” Faith is trust, hope and belief in the goodness or trustworthiness, of a person, concept or entity.” according to a Wikipedia definition. Trust me, I need more. And I find that by acting as if I do have some, no matter how much that is, perhaps the size of a mustard seed, it grows! “Fake it till you make it” comes to mind.

I just continue to try to do the next right thing. And continue to ask questions. Continue to “believe” that answers will be revealed. I try not to get frustrated/impatient as I go along. Trust me, not always easy for me especially. I just do my part.

So his past Saturday as I drive to visit friends and see a concert, up ahead I am drawn to a writing on the back of an 18 wheeler.

This is what it said:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I don’t know about you, but to me, this was Fantastic!! Out of nowhere to just look up and see that, was AWESOME!

This by no means is a final answer. Just a means to let me know, to have faith.

I continue down this path. I continue to ask. I continue to believe!

Has anything like this happened to you?

I’d like to hear about it.

Mom is not well…….

Mom was diagnosed with and incredibly rare lung disease 3 years ago.

I  will get the exact name and post it later. For a woman who hasn’t been in a hospital since giving birth to me,

this has been a most difficult time in both our lives. What has happened is that she has aged incredibly in a 2 week period.

From 135 lbs to maybe 105 lbs soaking wet. Shocking!!

At first all the doctors were screaming cancer, and frankly, I believed it.

As the only son of a now 75-year-old woman, life has shaken both of us.

We are now at a junction where I have to decide everything for her.

I have no problems doing this . I have to think and re-think every detail. Ultimately I always have

her best interest at heart.

I’ve been labeled a “good son”. It doesn’t feel good to watch your mother go through what

she is going through. The impotence is increasingly frustrating. Watching her spiral downward and me fighting not to let it happen.

She has given her whole life for me. With out exception, prejudice, without a second thought. And even in her current condition

she unknowingly continues to do so.

She continues to teach me through example, sacrifice and persistence. Just being at her side.

In making sure all her medicine is taken correctly. That she is hydrating properly. That she eats and gets proper nutrition. (a most difficult task at times).

She continues to give without expecting any form of reciprocation. She will continue to give of herself until her last breath. I know it!

How could I possibly repay that?    How? How? How?

And the answer comes:

Live by her example. 

She will live through me, I through her example.

Like her I will:

Smile and say hello to others. (even when others may not)

Continue to learn frugality.

Maintain focus through humility.

Value people over possessions.

Embrace simplicity.

Face life on its terms.

And through this blog:

Pay her example forward !!!